5. SELF–ENQUIRY
Vichara is the process and the goal also.
‘I Am’ is the goal and the final Reality.
To hold to it with effort is vichara, when spontaneous and natural it is realisation.
Vichara is the process and the goal also.
‘I Am’ is the goal and the final Reality.
To hold to it with effort is vichara, when spontaneous and natural it is realisation.
R
What is the ego? Enquire.
The body is insentient and cannot say `I'.
The Self is pure Consciousness and non–dual, it cannot say `I'.
No one says `I' in sleep.
What is the ego then?
It is something intermediate between the inert body and the Self. It has no right to appear.
If sought for it vanishes like a ghost.
–
Q When I think `Who am I?', the answer comes `I am not this mortal body but I am Consciousness, the Self .' And suddenly another question arises, `Why has Consciousness come into this illusionary world?' or in other words, `Why has God created this world?'
R
To enquire `Who am I ?' really means trying to find out the source of the ego or the `I'–thought.
You are not to think of other thoughts, such as `I am not this body'.
Seeking the source of `I' serves as a means of getting rid of all other thoughts.
–
Q Am I to keep on repeating `Who am I?' so as to make a mantra of it? [mantra meaning as a repetition of sound]
R
No. `Who am I ?' is not a mantra.
It means that you must find out where in you arises the `I'–thought which is the source of all other thoughts.
–
R
Really Vichara [Self–enquiry] begins when you cling to your Self and are already off the mental movement, the thought–waves.
Q Then Vichara is not intellectual?
R
No, it is an inner quest.
–
Q Thoughts suddenly cease and ‘I–I’ [meaning the true I] rises up equally suddenly and continues. It is only a feeling, not a thought. Can it be right?
R
Yes, it is quite right.
Thoughts have to cease and reason to disappear for the ‘I–I’ to rise up and be felt.
Feeling is the main thing, not reason.
–
Q Why should Self-enquiry alone be considered the direct path to Realisation?
R
Because every kind of path except Self-enquiry presupposes the retention of the mind as the instrument for following it, and cannot be followed without the mind.
The ego may take different and more subtle forms at different stages of one’s practice but it is never destroyed.
The attempt to destroy the ego or the mind by methods other than Self-enquiry is like a thief turning policeman to catch the thief that is himself.
Self-enquiry alone can reveal the truth that neither the ego nor the mind really exists and enable one to realise the pure, undifferentiated Being of the Self or the Absolute.
–
Q How can I tell if I am making progress with my enquiry?
R
The degree of the absence of thoughts is the measure of your progress towards Self–realization.
But Self–realization itself does not admit of progress, it is ever the same.
The Self remains always in realization. The obstacles are thoughts.
Progress is measured by the degree of removal of the obstacles to understanding that the Self is always realized.
So thoughts must be checked by seeking to whom they arise. So you go to their source, where they do not arise.
Q Doubts are always arising. Hence my question.
R
A doubt arises and is cleared. Another arises and that is cleared, making way for yet another; and so it goes on. So there is no possibility of clearing away all doubts.
See to whom the doubts arise. Go to their source and abide in it.
Then they cease to arise. That is how doubts are to be cleared
–
Q When I do this and cling to my self, that is, the `I'–thought, other thoughts come and go, but I say to myself `Who am I ?' and there is no answer forthcoming. To be in this condition is the practice. Is it so?
R
This is a mistake that people often make [to think there will come a mental answer or a vision etc.].
What happens when you make a serious quest for the Self is that the `I'–thought disappears, and something else from the depths takes hold of you, and that is not the `I' which started the quest.
Q What is this something else?
R
That is the real Self, the import of `I'. It is not the ego. It is the Supreme Being itself.
Q But you have often said that one must reject other thoughts when one begins the quest but the thoughts are endless.
If one thought is rejected, another comes and there seems to be no end at all.
R
I do not say that you must go on rejecting thoughts. Cling to yourself, that is, to the `I'–thought.
When your interest keeps you to that single idea, other thoughts will automatically get rejected and they will vanish.
Q And so rejection of thoughts is not necessary?
R
No. It may be necessary for a time or for some.
You fancy that there is no end if one goes on rejecting every thought when it rises. It is not true, there is an end.
If you are vigilant and make a stern effort to reject every thought when it rises you will soon find that you are going deeper and deeper into your own inner self.
At that level it is not necessary to make an effort to reject thoughts.
Q Then it is possible to be without effort, without strain.
R
Not only that, it is impossible for you to make an effort beyond a certain extent.
Q I want to be further enlightened. Should I try to make no effort at all?
R
Here it is impossible for you to be without effort.
When you go deeper, it is impossible for you to make any effort.
–
R
Your duty is to be and not to be this or that. `I am that I am' sums up the whole truth.
The method is summed up in the words `Be still'.
What does stillness mean? It means destroy yourself.
Because any form or shape is the cause of trouble. Give up the notion that `I am so and so'.
All that is required to realize the Self is to be still. What can be easier than that ?
Hence Self–knowledge is the easiest to attain.
The truth of oneself alone is worthy to be scrutinised and known.
Taking it as the target of one's attention, one should keenly know it in the Heart.
–
R
This knowledge of oneself will be revealed only to the Consciousness which is silent, clear and free from the activity of the agitated and suffering mind.
Know that the Consciousness which always shines in the Heart as the formless Self, `I', and which is known by one's being still, without thinking about anything as existent or non–existent, alone is the perfect reality.
[Note from the author: To sum up, the method is simply:
1. Having the mindset to find out the truth about your own Self: 'Who [what or where] is the I?'
2. Have the attention on the feeling of I, simply being still.
If being still seems too difficult, one can still use contemplation or self-focus through attention.]
What is the ego? Enquire.
The body is insentient and cannot say `I'.
The Self is pure Consciousness and non–dual, it cannot say `I'.
No one says `I' in sleep.
What is the ego then?
It is something intermediate between the inert body and the Self. It has no right to appear.
If sought for it vanishes like a ghost.
–
Q When I think `Who am I?', the answer comes `I am not this mortal body but I am Consciousness, the Self .' And suddenly another question arises, `Why has Consciousness come into this illusionary world?' or in other words, `Why has God created this world?'
R
To enquire `Who am I ?' really means trying to find out the source of the ego or the `I'–thought.
You are not to think of other thoughts, such as `I am not this body'.
Seeking the source of `I' serves as a means of getting rid of all other thoughts.
–
Q Am I to keep on repeating `Who am I?' so as to make a mantra of it? [mantra meaning as a repetition of sound]
R
No. `Who am I ?' is not a mantra.
It means that you must find out where in you arises the `I'–thought which is the source of all other thoughts.
–
R
Really Vichara [Self–enquiry] begins when you cling to your Self and are already off the mental movement, the thought–waves.
Q Then Vichara is not intellectual?
R
No, it is an inner quest.
–
Q Thoughts suddenly cease and ‘I–I’ [meaning the true I] rises up equally suddenly and continues. It is only a feeling, not a thought. Can it be right?
R
Yes, it is quite right.
Thoughts have to cease and reason to disappear for the ‘I–I’ to rise up and be felt.
Feeling is the main thing, not reason.
–
Q Why should Self-enquiry alone be considered the direct path to Realisation?
R
Because every kind of path except Self-enquiry presupposes the retention of the mind as the instrument for following it, and cannot be followed without the mind.
The ego may take different and more subtle forms at different stages of one’s practice but it is never destroyed.
The attempt to destroy the ego or the mind by methods other than Self-enquiry is like a thief turning policeman to catch the thief that is himself.
Self-enquiry alone can reveal the truth that neither the ego nor the mind really exists and enable one to realise the pure, undifferentiated Being of the Self or the Absolute.
–
Q How can I tell if I am making progress with my enquiry?
R
The degree of the absence of thoughts is the measure of your progress towards Self–realization.
But Self–realization itself does not admit of progress, it is ever the same.
The Self remains always in realization. The obstacles are thoughts.
Progress is measured by the degree of removal of the obstacles to understanding that the Self is always realized.
So thoughts must be checked by seeking to whom they arise. So you go to their source, where they do not arise.
Q Doubts are always arising. Hence my question.
R
A doubt arises and is cleared. Another arises and that is cleared, making way for yet another; and so it goes on. So there is no possibility of clearing away all doubts.
See to whom the doubts arise. Go to their source and abide in it.
Then they cease to arise. That is how doubts are to be cleared
–
Q When I do this and cling to my self, that is, the `I'–thought, other thoughts come and go, but I say to myself `Who am I ?' and there is no answer forthcoming. To be in this condition is the practice. Is it so?
R
This is a mistake that people often make [to think there will come a mental answer or a vision etc.].
What happens when you make a serious quest for the Self is that the `I'–thought disappears, and something else from the depths takes hold of you, and that is not the `I' which started the quest.
Q What is this something else?
R
That is the real Self, the import of `I'. It is not the ego. It is the Supreme Being itself.
Q But you have often said that one must reject other thoughts when one begins the quest but the thoughts are endless.
If one thought is rejected, another comes and there seems to be no end at all.
R
I do not say that you must go on rejecting thoughts. Cling to yourself, that is, to the `I'–thought.
When your interest keeps you to that single idea, other thoughts will automatically get rejected and they will vanish.
Q And so rejection of thoughts is not necessary?
R
No. It may be necessary for a time or for some.
You fancy that there is no end if one goes on rejecting every thought when it rises. It is not true, there is an end.
If you are vigilant and make a stern effort to reject every thought when it rises you will soon find that you are going deeper and deeper into your own inner self.
At that level it is not necessary to make an effort to reject thoughts.
Q Then it is possible to be without effort, without strain.
R
Not only that, it is impossible for you to make an effort beyond a certain extent.
Q I want to be further enlightened. Should I try to make no effort at all?
R
Here it is impossible for you to be without effort.
When you go deeper, it is impossible for you to make any effort.
–
R
Your duty is to be and not to be this or that. `I am that I am' sums up the whole truth.
The method is summed up in the words `Be still'.
What does stillness mean? It means destroy yourself.
Because any form or shape is the cause of trouble. Give up the notion that `I am so and so'.
All that is required to realize the Self is to be still. What can be easier than that ?
Hence Self–knowledge is the easiest to attain.
The truth of oneself alone is worthy to be scrutinised and known.
Taking it as the target of one's attention, one should keenly know it in the Heart.
–
R
This knowledge of oneself will be revealed only to the Consciousness which is silent, clear and free from the activity of the agitated and suffering mind.
Know that the Consciousness which always shines in the Heart as the formless Self, `I', and which is known by one's being still, without thinking about anything as existent or non–existent, alone is the perfect reality.
[Note from the author: To sum up, the method is simply:
1. Having the mindset to find out the truth about your own Self: 'Who [what or where] is the I?'
2. Have the attention on the feeling of I, simply being still.
If being still seems too difficult, one can still use contemplation or self-focus through attention.]